Experiments in Chaos—Failures from October 13, 2013

As I grow older, I notice that my mind tends to wander. I wouldn't mind that so much, if it would just leave me a note telling where it's gone. I didn't mind walking into a room and forgetting what I'd gone in for. But standing in front of my chair, wondering why I'd just gotten up was a bit much. And then I started doing that bouncy thing. I'd give up and sit back down, and as soon as my ass hit that chair I'd remember what I'd gotten up for. Boing! Except that I don't boing like I used to.

Nowadays, if I'm in the store, I can squat down to look at the bottom shelf just fine. But while I'm down there, I always check to see if there's anything else I might want, because the trip back up is going to be no party. And I won't be wanting to make another if I can avoid it. Don't get me wrong, I can do as many deep-knee bends as I ever did. I just do them one at a time. It takes a little longer to do a full set that way, a week or two, but I'm in no hurry.

The other day I got a phone call. It was a recorded message by a very serious sounding young woman, who informed me that "The FBI reports there is a home break-in every fifteen seconds." I figured if that was the case I probably ought to put on some pants. After all, if company's coming, you don't want to be caught unawares, so to speak. But by the time I actually got around to getting dressed, fully half the state could have broken in.

I reached a new low in my personal adventures the other day. I was in the store again, and I thought of something I wanted to check on. By the time I was looking at the shelf behind me, I'd forgotten why I'd turned around. I didn't even last a hundred and eighty degrees. And I have every reason to believe it's all downhill from here. Stupid gravity.

They say the mind is the first to go. And who am I to argue?

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